For most of the year I’d been keen to get down to North
Wales for a few days, and I was even more keen when Jack kindly volunteered his
house, just over the Welsh border, as a base. This was seriously helpful as it
made day trips feasible and made the trip super cheap! As soon as the weather
looked remotely good me and Jack started planning. The plan was to head down
and do a half day on Clywdd Limestone, a day on the slate (wahoo!), a day on
Dinas Cromlech and then to hit the Roaches on the way back. Having recruited
Chris and Tanner, finally free of the dissertation and exams that had hampered
his climbing the last few months, we were off.
The drive down went off largely without incident, if we
ignore some pretty dreadful driving from Jack at the roundabouts and relentless
Amy-themed jokes aimed at Chris. We decided to head straight to the crag to
make the most of the light and pulled up at the Trevor Area of the Clywdd
Limestone guide at about half 5. I have absolutely no idea where we were in
relation to anywhere else though! The entire crag appeared to have been
scouted, cleaned and bolted by Gary Gibson, which was hardly surprising given
his reputation for new routing. The original plan was to do some of the trad
lines, and I was in the process of racking up to do a VS when Jack’s head
appeared at the top of the crag. He had wisely decided to check if the belay
stakes promised in the guide were actually present on the top, and had found
they weren’t. As a result, since belaying off bare grass, sheep or chossy lime
top outs were not viable options, we bailed and headed off to do some sport
climbing instead. This was a shame as I’d been eyeing up the classic E2 of the
area and Chris was being bullied into getting on an E3 appropriately named Amy.
Needless to say copious innuendo followed. We got stuck into a 6a and a 6a+ as
a warmup. These were bloody thin to say the least and took a few minutes for my
limestone head to come back. Everyone ticked these fairly quickly before Jack’s
dad arrived to have a crack at this climbing lark. Me and Tanner headed off to
try an overhanging 6b, while Chris set up a top rope for Jack’s Dad to steam up
in his boots. The 6b went off without a hitch and I pulled through the roof
with pain in cold fingers but otherwise fine. Tanner though got flash pump
badly after several months without climbing and was unable to even yard through
the roof on the draws! Chris went up it to retrieve my gear and made it look
easy. Meanwhile Jack’s dad dispatched the 5 in big boots with ease, making it
look much easier than Chris, before Jack led it. At this point we were all
freezing and the weather was closing in. After half an hour spent messing
around on some nearby boulders we headed to Jack’s house, where a dinner of
sausage and mash was provided to some very hungry climbers. We were seriously
spoiled by Teresa throughout the trip! We made plans to head to the slate the
next day before turning in, ready for an early start…
The alarm at 7 was not appreciated but everyone was up
fairly promptly. Jack made a mess of cooking the bacon and eggs before I
exacerbated the problem. This was seriously embarrassing and made us all look
completely incompetent in front of Jack’s dad, who made himself a bacon
sandwich under the grill rather than trust it to us. We were on the road at 8
and despite getting stuck behind several VERY slow cars we were at Bus Stop
Quarry just past 10. Jack and Chris got their slate heads back on a 5+ and 6a which
I had already done the year before, so I decided to tackle the trad route in
the corner instead. This was more than a bit loose but good fun anyway. After
belaying Tanner up the 6a we headed along to have a look at a classic VS and
HVS I wanted to do, Solstice and Equinox. However plans were changed when the
classic E1 5c Fool’s Gold reared up in front of me and I immediately got
psyched. I nearly blew it on the low crux, which was unhelpfully polished to
hell, before placing quite a lot of bombproof gear (for me) on the easier crack
above. Tanner seconded this awesome route and after a slightly dodgy descent we
all decided to move into the quarry proper- Chris and Jack had done the loose
corner in the interim.
We headed to the Looning the Tube slab first at my
insistence so I could finally get on this mega slate classic. After tying
Tanner to the pipe I began the necky traverse. I was very glad to reach the
bolt at the base of the crack and got through the hard move to finally send a
route I’d been after for ages. Tanner seconded before Chris got psyched and got
on it. He did a dumb and brought the wrong size cams, necessitating a pretty
hench runout up to the second bolt- a whipper would’ve been awesome!
Nevertheless he did the route and Jack seconded up after growing some testicles
and getting over his unnatural slab fear! After this we headed up extremely
steep territory to the very top of the Australia section of the quarry- Skyline
Buttress. However, the walk in was worth it to get on some 40m 6a’s! Yes, that’s
right- 40m. Tanner started up Clash of the Titans while Jack led Plastic
Soldiers. Both made it look easy and me and Chris seconded up- lowering off was
definitely not an option with 40m routes! We descended and switched routes- I
led Plastic Soldiers and Chris Clash of the Titans. The climbing on both was
great and really well protected- Titans had 16 bolts!- and the position right
at the top of the quarry was incredible.
We continued our magical mystery tour of the quarries by
heading to the California area, to look at the infamous Californian Arete, E1
4c. This is 42m of easy climbing but without a single bit of gear- any sort of
fall is more than likely a death fall. I got psyched briefly looking at it, but
after a long sitdown and thinking about how much I enjoyed life I decided
against it, and was very glad I did so when I emerged out of the tunnels into
the sunlight! We moved on to Seamstress Slab in Serengeti, where Jack got on
the classic Seamstress VS and I on Seams the Same E1 5b. Both of the routes
were awesome, with loads of bomber gear. Having descended the route, I became
aware that I had left my flip flops with the bottle opener on the bottom
somewhere. After rapidly seconding Tanner up Seamstress and watching Chris on
Seams the Same, I resigned myself to running back up to Skyline to get them- I
must have left them there right? Wrong. To say I was pissed off to arrive at
Skyline after the knackering run up and not find them would be putting it
lightly. I ran all the way back down, and walked back to the car in a pretty
severe strop- I loved those flip flops! We drove him to the soundtrack of occasional
outbreak of swearing and made plans to go the Cromlech the next day. However,
hope springs eternal- apparently a UKC user picked them up and will post them
to me! Climbers are very nice people is the moral of the story, alongside the
obvious one, namely that I am a dumb shit.
The next day began with aching bodies. The drive was spent
anxiously gazing at the sky, and sure enough as we reached the Pass it started
raining. We minced for an hour in Llanberis, ogling gear in V12 and drinking
coffee in Pete’s Eats, before the weather improved and we headed back to the
Cromlech. Words cannot describe the walk in- it was intimidating, loose, and
bloody steep. It took a good half hour to power up the scree slope! Tanner and
I decided to warm up on Spiral Stairs VDiff, while Jack and Chris got on Flying
Buttress VDiff. Spiral Stairs was meant to have 4 pitches, but Tanner and I
blew it hard on the route finding and only did 1- Tanner led up a steep VS fist
crack instead! As a result we were done much earlier than Chris and Jack and
minced for a while at the bottom. Eventually I bullied Tanner into getting on
the classic E1 Cemetery Gates, and Chris and Jack arrived when he was halfway
up. Despite nearly pumping out halfway up, he made it- serious effort- and
generously abbed down the route to save the onsight for me for another day.
However, disaster struck when his retrievable ab turned out to not actually be
retrievable, leaving the ropes stuck. Its not just you that does this clearly
Brad! Still, no problems, as I had always planned to give the famous Left Wall
E2 5c a go. Unfortunately, there was a problem, as I blew it hard on this mega
classic, pumping out halfway up at the first crux due to placing way too much
gear and screaming obscenities. Needless to say Chris captured the whole thing
on his camera- why are there only ever videos of me blowing it! I had to get to
the top to retrieve gear and Tanner’s ropes so dogged, aided and gurned my way
to the top- 40m is such a long way! However, it swiftly became clear during the
dodgiest scramble ever that I could not reach Tanner’s ropes without putting
myself in serious danger. Chris resigned himself to ascending the ropes and I
fixed my abseil down. Chris and I checked with each other which rope to pull when
setting up the new retrievable abs, and I was therefore incredulous when Chris
reached the bottom and was unable to move his rope. Fortunately, he was simply
being thick and pulling on the wrong rope- tool! We packed up and left the
Cromlech having not done that much climbing (Tanner excepted) but pleased we
had had a climb on the most famous crag in the country, as well as looking at
the world famous Joe Brown E1 Cenotaph Corner (sadly wet after the rain). I
will be back for Left Wall as well- next time I will place far less gear!
The forecast for the next day was abysmal after 2 so we
headed off early to hit the Roaches and get as much out of the day as we could.
Chris and Jack warmed up on Crack and Corner S while I did Bachelor’s Buttress
VS. Tanner got on Saul’s Crack HVS, scene of a major dog from Jack the week
before, and made it look far too easy than was decent- you haven’t been
climbing nearly enough mate! Both Tanner and I reclined on a rock for lunch to
watch Chris conquering his demons on the Sloth after his previous bailout, before
I racked up for an attempt on the roof of Wombat, E2 5b. However, I couldn’t
even reach the break and grew increasingly frustrated at the starting moves- I
know I was pumped but they were never 5b! After taking several falls from about
2m onto quite hard ground I cut my losses and bailed. In any case rain was
falling and we weren’t getting anymore climbing done! We drove back in the
pouring rain completely knackered- I slept for 13 straight hours the next
night! Great trip with some good sends from everyone- first slate trad leads
for everyone, a classic VS for Jack, classic E1/ E1’s for Chris and myself and
the mega classic E1 Cemetery Gates for Tanner. Thanks for driving Jack and say
thanks to your dad and Teresa for the loan of your house- see you in a few
months Wales!


























