LMC Loft- Lake District 25th-27th October

The second meet of the year began with a nice surprise. The gamble we had taken by tactically breaking the last CD player had paid off spectacularly with the installation of a new one with the luxury of an AUX in. In line with this driver James had prepared a monster playlist (with a bit of Miley Cyrus on for some reason). We set off with a full bus, including a couple of new faces in Mariam and Ellie, with Dave convoying behind with Jack and Charlie. The weather for the weekend looked, diplomatically speaking, dodgy. There were warnings for rain and wind but as we know the Lakes has its own microclimate so despite the shithouse forecast we held out some hope of getting some climbing done, particularly on the Saturday.

The drive up was uneventful and rapid until we reached the Lakes, with the main highlights being James T’s grumpiness at being evicted from the front seat by Brad, and Brad and I rapping through most of Eminem’s Business in true/imagined) ‘g’ fashion. The disgusting weather and the horrendous roads soon spiced it up a bit though, with James manfully dragging the bus up 30 degree inclines as I became horribly convinced I’d blown it really hard. Thank god Blea Tarn car park eventually appeared and we parked up and headed down to the hut. Anyone who has ever stayed at the Loft before knows it is more than a bit esoteric, with its outside toilet, lack of hot water and broken oven the main problems this time around (thanks a lot Lidiya/Ali…). As Jack struggled to get the water on we had a few beers and when Jack joined us, I reminded him to get the bin bags and bog roll. His reaction swiftly told us he had surpassed Pembroke by yet again forgetting everything. Abuse duly followed and Jack’s fate was sealed for the rest of the trip, the reaction even worse considering he had already been stung previously! We headed to bed hoping to find a rainless morning…

The alarm went off far too early at 7 after a night’s sleep damaged by everyone’s incessant coughing- Dave and Steve in particular sounded near death. A quick peek outside the door told me it was pitch dark but miraculously dry. We rapidly got ready and headed off to the Lakes staple crag, Shepherds. We parked up and geared up as a runway sheep descended the trail at rapid speed and headed straight onto the road, somehow avoiding getting run over. A tired and grumpy Lally got some morning tea with Mariam and Dave as the rest of us headed to the crag. Predictably, Brown Slabs was pretty soggy, particularly on its lower section below the first tree, which conveniently is where there is no gear on any of the routes. Having split everyone into groups, people tentatively got leading, with Jack leading Brown Slabs (Diff) as  warmup after nearly breaking his ankle on the walk in. James got on Brown Slabs Direct and Amy on a VDish line somewhere to the left of that, while Lally eventually rocked up and racked up for his Brown Slabs Arete VD. Both Lally and James were in childlike states of excitement at the prospect of dirtying their brand new racks.

Seeing as everyone was getting on it, Brad, Steven and I headed over to Little Chamonix VD. I led the first pitch in big boots, in hindsight a terrible call as it was soaking. Brad took over for the 2^nd pitch to the Saddle belay and I finished it up the steep final wall. The route passed off without incident, apart from Brad dropping his ATC-Guide from the Saddle belay- to the bottom of the crag. Despite a search it was unfound so if anyone sees anything on UKC let him know! We headed back to the slabs for some food and found everyone descending. Tom and James M were racking up for their first leads so I soloed to the top to attempt to teach them top setup, while Jack headed off to do Kransic Crack Direct with Josh. Tom carefully picked his way to the top and set his belay up with only one or two problems (mostly caused by me confusing him) but the real theatre was on James’ lead. He had slung the tree and placed a bombproof nut when his foot slipped off the slimy rock, swiftly followed by his hands. A first trad whipper on his first lead was the result, which James’ remained remarkably calm for! This sounds hugely punterish but I can assure you the rock was skank- at any rate at least the gear worked! James finished it up with few problems and I confused him hugely at the top by teaching my idiosyncratic top setup, before descending what it still the most dangerous walk off I have ever encountered.

I was pretty psyched to get on the E2 MGC which I failed to second in first year so I headed off to get on it with Brad, leaving Jack to keep watch. Despite a bit of a wobble at the bouldery crux and the slimy top out it was dispatched- definitely soft for E2 as the gear was bombproof but I’m taking the tick! Brad seconded clean and we headed back to the crag to hear stories of Dave blowing it on a Diff and getting his green hex welded into the crack. Meanwhile Steve, Tom and Brad psyched up for leads and Lally, either through bravery or stupidity decided to get on the slimy VS corner that Frosty aided up in the wet a few years back. To his credit he made it look easy and I followed him up, very glad I hadn’t led it! We made it in one piece to the bottom (Lally did stack it in hilarious fashion) as Charlie succeeded in finally extricating Dave’s hex from the rock and the weather started to close in. The decision was wisely made to call it a day and Lally and Brad headed to the café as we waited for stragglers. Sods law dictated it pissed it down just as we started the walk off so we all got soaked, but given the weather forecast the day had been a massive bonus. After a quick Booth’s stop where a madman in a van hit our minibus, we went back to the hut where drinking and dreadfulness ensued. A very slopey table traverse was attempted with Brad emerging as the winner, before Lally won the deadhang contest on the gloss-painted beams and the now (in)famous press-up challenge destroyed the uninitiated.  Jack manfully dispatched his dirty pint as punishment for forgetting everything, and him and Charlie didn’t only have their growing inebriation in common as the night continued (innuendo intentional). A blow by blow description of the evening would probably contravene Cameron’s planned internet censorship laws so I think I’ll leave it there- we called it a night at 1 (probably just as well the more I think about it…).

Sunday dawned pissing it down so we decided to walk up to Stickle Tarn and Pavey Ark from the hut. Cleanup went well despite me filling my hand with broken glass and bleeding everywhere, and we set off in dry yet soggy conditions. After an initial 20 minutes on steep ground where everyone realised how unfit they were, we got into the swing of it and reached the Tarn, where we enjoyed a pretty damp lunch in bothy bags as the wind and rain fell. We walked round to Pavey Ark, a seriously impressive crag, and Brad and Lally set off up the scramble Jack’s Rake as the rest of us headed up ‘Easy Gully.’ However the winds on top of Pavey were gusting at a serious speed and with the rain starting to become depressing we decided to bail having found Brad and Lally at the top. The walk down was notable for the excessive number of stream crossings, in which nearly everyone got soaking feet and I nearly knocked Jack into Stickle Ghyll in an attempt to play the hero and stop him and Charlie being blown in, with a brilliant crag dog providing further entertainment. After a quick pub stop we headed back to the van and set off, with everyone wet and cold but reasonably happy! Hilarious photos were taken of Jack as he slept with his mouth wide open and we got back to Leicester without problems. Given the shite forecast a days climbing was about as much as I could have hoped for- bring on Wales and some slate!

Pembroke 2013

The first proper meet of the year got off to a good start with lots of fresher/new members signed up for the trip. This placed a severe strain on our leading resources but fortunately we had Brad and Cole to help out! After hefting the gear in the swank van, we hit the road down to Pembroke and were forced to go over the Severn Bridge due to the M50 closure. After grumpily handing over £24.40 we were through and successfully convoyed it all the way to the campsite, which unlike last year was found without a hitch. We rapidly set the tents up and hit the way, the main entertainment being provided by Brad’s cushty sheepskin ‘rollmat’ and trash sec Jack blowing it hard and forgetting the bin bags (his one job….)

The alarm went off horribly early at 7am and I had a nasty surprise. My clean and dry socks were clean and dry no longer having had the contents of a glass bottle of Kronenbourg 1664 emptied all over them when the bottle broke. With the smell of beer overpowering the tent, everyone else was remarkably efficient and we were setting up the abseil at Saddle Head by 9. After finding lots of bomber gear we started sending people down, and after a small amount of early morning mincing people got climbing. Jack led up a Severe to kick off, with James and Amy doing likewise on other green spot routes which I can’t remember the name of. Cole also got going with his seconds Matt and Callum in tow. The lack of lead belaying skills was a concern but some tactical group organisation and adherence to that ancient law of trad climbing (the leader doesn’t fall) meant we got away with it, with some leaders choosing to give one rope to each of their seconds to concentrate on! I had new member Tom with me, and I started up the nice VS Haze, complete with the necky traverse of Sea Mist (the best bit). This went off reasonably smoothly and Tom wisely seconded up Sea Mist to enjoy the ridiculously good position (see photo on FB) before Brad also came up. All the new members had hit the ground running and Callum and Josh were already eyeing up first leads. Callum set off first up a V.Diff, showing impressive balls but perhaps placing not quite enough gear for a first lead! Peate and Jack helped him with his top set up before Josh also led the same route later in the day. (memory of routes that I didn’t climb/belay is dreadful!)

Meanwhile, I’d started up another VS on the other wall, No Hands, while Jack did a nearby HS. Brad and Jack invented the ‘Brad and Jack Superdirect Start’ to this route, which involved jumping to a mega jug and campusing/heel hooking onto the route proper- well worth it! This route was way better than Haze- it made me work for it all the way and had bombproof gear- a fact Jack agreed with when he later got on it. On the other side of the crag, James had remembered to pack his testicles and was starting the necky traverse on Sea Mist. He did it easily and finished up the arête quickly- everyone who has done this route knows how good it is! Emily and Steve ( I think) seconded, while Katie got the fear on the traverse and was forced to bail. However, she seconded a lot of stuff over the course of the day and hopefully got some good mileage on real rock. J

James was now psyched and got on the sandbag VS 5a Pink’Un, and despite nearly blowing it most of the way up got to the good holds and finished it up for his hardest lead yet- good effort, its solid 5a all the way. This turned out to be the hardest lead of both the day and the meet so nice one! Meanwhile, Tom started up his first lead while I soloed above him pointing out good gear/hindering his easy progress. He did the route easily and actually placed some good pieces, more than could have been said for my first lead. I helped him with his top set up when bad news emerged- two climbers were on the mega classic VS Blue Sky that I’d been eyeing up all day along with Brad. As the light started to fade I was getting increasingly twitchy and quickly asked the leader if we could scrag their ab rope 2 minutes after she’d topped out after a complete epic- it seems they’d ended up on a hardcore HVS! Having got the answer I was looking for I was soon gleefully abbing into space above the sea- committed doesn’t describe it! I set myself up a good gear nest before Brad joined me and got started on his pitch. He belayed in the cave before I seconded up and led my pitch- both had mega exposure above the crashing sea on super-massive holds- very soft for VS! (get on it!). Regrettably, mine and Brads absence prevented Peate from getting on Sea Mist as the light faded- I’m sorry mate! Next year, first thing! I topped out in the gathering gloom as everyone else finished climbing- what a route. After helping Katie up her final pitch we packed away and headed to the pub not a moment too soon.

The next day dawned dewy but dry and we packed away conventionally (everyone apart from Cole) and unconventionally, which included Cole driving over his decrepit tent in the minibus. We had decided to head to the Gower to try a crag there, Boiler Slab. I blew it several times finding the way, but we got there in the end and proved concerns about my navigation to be unfounded when we rocked up to the crag (eventually). Everyone swiftly got on it, with well spread out groups now we had seen everyone climb. Katie and I dispatched a VS, as did Brad/Emily and Jack/Steve, with the green spot ticks serving as a good warm up for the other groups. Unfortunately only me/Katie and Jack/Steve, along with Tom’s second lead, got another route in before the heavens opened. The lime swiftly evolved into slimestone, with everything getting soaked. The time to bail had definitely come, with most people being at the bottom in time to see a scout group on the neighbouring, much lesser travelled crag have a near miss. A massive, and I do mean massive, chunk of limestone was pulled off the crag, fortunately shattering into lots of smaller (but still massive) bits. Just as well, because if the big bit had continued unaided to the bottom it could have been really serious. Fortunately everyone was fine, and we swiftly bailed due to the increasing rain. The trip home (avoiding the Severn!) was uneventful, with the funniest moment coming at the petrol station when I clocked James’ busy hands. Make of that what you will. Hopefully everyone was suitably knackered- see you in the Lakes!