How I write a blog about this Christmas Meet I do not know,
probably most of it should stay hidden in the depths of hazy memory but with
James’ photographs about to hit Facebook as I write these words, a recap is
probably necessary. Here we go…
Hilarity ensued before the meet even started. As Friday got
nearer I was becoming increasingly excited and increasingly stressed. Top of
the priority list was the turkey cooking. Walking back from the library I had a
horrible premonition of Jack cooking his turkey with the plastic bag of giblets
still inside it. Somehow, Jack was retarded enough for this to have actually
happened, and had created a probable first for science- a carcinogenic turkey. Swimming
in melted plastic and looking like a candle had exploded in its chest cavity,
the turkey was not a pretty sight. After receiving a bollocking from myself and
Harris where his mental capabilities were discussed at length, Jack drove off
to find an alternative meat source. The lack of turkey resulted in 3 chickens
being bought instead, unfortunately for his wallet.
Come Friday all seemed good to go. Along with many others I
did no work all day and simply waited for 6pm to tick round. Everyone was
reasonably on time and we got going pretty well, with the only sticking point
being James blowing it and forgetting all the frozen food, delaying the swank
van by half an hour or so. With my bus rocking to some of the most disgraceful
rap music in history (Eminem ft Obie Trice- Drips) we rolled up to the super
swanky Chamois hut about 11 and commenced drinking. The hut was the best I have
ever seen- it was like a mansion and even had carpet! I pleaded with everyone
to not spill anything but this advice was largely ignored unfortunately :p
(particularly by Charlie!)To the best of my knowledge nothing truly horrendous
happened that night apart from James and Gus’ yoghurt tasting session- see
photographs. I attempted to go to bed at 2 but was dragged back down several
times by Lally and eventually hit the sack at 4.
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| Oh god. |
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| Oh wait, this one is worse. |
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| An actual nice photo! |
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| Imagined G! |
The wakeup at 8 was far too
early for almost everyone but with some big coercion and minor use of pan
everyone piled into the vans to head to Castle Inn Quarry. Brad, Chris and
Lally were running the show for which I am massively grateful J By all accounts a good
day was had at the crag, with Ellie leading a 6a, Brad ticking some starred
routes, several people doing first leads and people generally having a good
time. Since I was not there detail will be a little thin on the ground but
despite a brief rain shower and the mince factor being extremely high a good
day was had.
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| So near... |
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| Thats a good shot whoever took that! |
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| Combined tactics? |
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| ....god knows |
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| Ellie powering up the 2* 6a Route 2 |
Meanwhile back at the hut, the committee took advantage of
the empty hut by cleaning the lounge and having a very necessary shower.
Decoration of the dining room then began. Good gear was found in the door frame
with a sideways nut and a bombproof sling on the cupboard, but the whole setup
hinged upon a very poor thread through a light fixing that somehow stayed up!
After decorating the room with Jack and James’ gear, we did some general food
prep and generally got ourselves organised. James harnessed his inner Northerner
shovelling coal, before I proved I do not have an inner Northerner by injuring
my finger painfully on the scuttle and sacking it off! Harris and Lianne were
running the show in the kitchen but we had a seriously nice 2 hour stint in the
middle of the day where very little happened apart from lounging by the fire
drinking. Come 4pm though the work really started and the heat rose, to quote
the phrase. All went reasonably well though in stark contrast to last year- it
seems working kitchen equipment really helps! The meal itself was actually
delicious (not just saying that!) and people got stuck in, particularly with
regard to the brussel sprouts for reasons that I cannot fathom…We finished
eating and it was speech time. James kicked things off and tapped his wineglass
for attention. Unfortunately he tapped it with a knife and broke the bloody
thing, before downing the remainder of his wine and probably ingesting large
amounts of glass. He had some nasty surprises for some committee members
courtesy of an all round committee effort + Chris and the master of offensive
fancy dress, Mr Harry Holkham. In recognition of his sterling new routing
efforts throughout the term, Jack was given a Gary Gibson costume, complete
with Chris’ drill, as reward/punishment for his steadfast retrobolting of
existing lines despite his morality repeatedly being called into question (not
by me I hasten to add!). Unfortunately I was next and Harry had pulled out all
the stops. I hate to bring politics into a club blog, but anyone who knows me
knows I have a pretty deep seated hatred of the Tory party, and top of that hated
list is the witch herself. Unfortunately Harry had sourced a passable costume
of that witch, which meant that for my sins I have dressed up as Margaret
Thatcher for the first and hopefully last time in my life. I literally
preferred the Savile costume!
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| Literally what the fuck is this. |
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The post-dinner clearup went really well and we were soon
getting stuck into the vast quantities of alcohol that were in the hut. I haven’t
really got a clue what happened all night, but highlights/lowlights included: the
appearance of Father Shotmas, Amy biting my nose, Amy/Ellie licking mine/each
others faces, Andrew spearing himself on a naked hutrun and then forgetting
about the cause of his injury later, Alex refusing to get dressed again after
ring of fire, Lally rigging the ‘ride the bus’ game to ensure I got drunk as
quickly as possible, photobombing Jack and Charlie, my morality being called
into question, and best of all Lally’s immortal line when Andrew started
stealing his flipflops:
‘Steady on son, those aren’t communal flip-flops.’
This list is most definitely not exhaustive!
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| Father Shotmas |
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| What on earth is going on here?! |
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| About halfway I reckon! |
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| About to get stuffed riding the bus... |
Getting up was understandably hard but clear up went well
and we split into two groups- bouldering and slate. Jack and Ollie went off to the
RAC boulders and had a good day until it rained, with Jack doing a 6a+, while
Brad and I took everyone else to the quarries. Everyone headed down to the
Sidings while James and I took Ellie, James, Katie and Steve up the 40m 6a’s
Plastic Soldiers and Clash of the Titans. We did not have enough quickdraws
which necessitated one of two options: a) manning up and running it out or b)
pussying out and stealing draws halfway up the route. I went for the first
option as I like running it out anyway while James took the second. The hangover
was clearly affecting James as he made his route look completely desperate,
probably scaring the shit out of poor Katie and Steve who wondered what they
were in for. However they both made it look piss, as did Ellie and James on
mine, and we wandered down to the Sidings after I bailed on a potential E2 due
to lack of promised bolt. When we got to the Sidings it started raining and we
decided to go for a walk instead through the tunnels after I quickly soloed a
skank and wet 4+ dressed as Jimmy Savile to keep my election promise! We headed
down to the California area, past the infamous guillotine block and under the
impressive Californian Arete, which I got scared out of doing when dry last
summer but was weirdly psyched to get on when wet- I’ll do it this summer!
After playing around on the chains for a while we headed back to the bus and
were late to meet the others- sorry!
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| Good rock architecture at Skyline |
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| Me high on Clash of the Titans |
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| James gurning on Plastic Soldiers |
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| Photo of the weekend |
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| Californian Arete E1 4c |
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| Top out celebration! |
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| Go Brad! |
The drive home was pretty uneventful- everyone was knackered
and slept! Our bus blew it mildly by missing the M69 turnoff but achieved the
previously thought impossible feat of a clean run through Leicester without
stopping at a single traffic light. After dropping everyone off and cleaning
the buses it was definitely bedtime. Thanks everyone for a brilliant meet, I
had an absolutely wicked time and can’t wait for next semester! J
