Peak Camping and Stoney Middleton Hut

I will apologise now for the lateness of this post. However I will not apologise for any spelling or grammar mistakes. 

 The return to the back to basics Peak camping trip, thankfully moved to a period of the year when it doesn’t snow, unlike March the previous year where we were buried under. Apprehensions were held by many for the first trip of the year with even the most psyched (Jim) considering bailing due to the less than promising weather report. We all congregated by the bus outside the Student Union planning to leave at 6, whereby a flustered Hary Holkham runs past at five to having just left a meeting. Then a certain Callum Taylor upholds his reputation by being late. However, perhaps due to the popularity of the closing freshers night or the prospect of camping we only managed two first timers for the trip, a weekend of hard climbing to start the grit season lay ahead of us if the weather behaved itself, and behave itself it certainly did!

That freezing morning we trudged through the fog up to Stanage Plantation with fingers crossed. Emerging through the fog at the bottom of the crag felt like summiting one of the Glyders. To start the day Jim and Jack got spanked by the plantation boulders and made no notable ascents. In search of some success they headed for the crag, where Jack did Goliaths Groove which Ellie also battled her way up after taking a few falls. Afterwards Jim and Jack did the Right and Left Unconquerable respectively. That morning Brad and Leanne graced us with their presence and had a peaceful day cruising around plantation with a notable absence of mincing. Ellie began her day with The Coign, a HS which she assumed to be well within her limit. However it was later revealed that she didn’t cruise up it as she had anticipated. At the same time I climbed Wall End Holly Tree Crack with Anthony in-tow. Despite complaining about severely squashed toes he took his first taste of outdoor climbing (on grit) in his stride. Unfortunately, as my first day on trad in months I was lacking any psych. Josh, Steven and teamed up on the Saturday which involved Steven marching them off to do the esoteric BAW’s Crawl as his first HVS, and Josh did Ride Him Cowboy. However the boys ended up having a bit of an epic on the route Wall Buttress as Josh climbed two thirds of it before reaching the wide crack  and failed to correctly insert as much body as possible. Steven, a man who likes a bit of a gurn, attempted to lead through gear however had to bail as well. The outcome being that Josh has to swing around on the ab line trying to reach the cams. That’s what you get for attempting climbs described as a ‘grovel’.

Impeccable bridging technique by Ellie on Goliaths Groove

Jim terrifying everyone on Great Slab - The man needs his own feature in the risk assessment.

That evening we headed over to LJ’s (The Little John Inn) to sample their finest delicacies, and altered the seating plan of the busy pub so as to sit together. In addition we debated the factual basis of Charlie’s claim to be visiting Gogarth whilst on the BMC Student Safety Seminar. Eventually we had all eaten and headed back to the tent, excited for story time with Callum.

The next day we headed off into the foggy forest around Froggatt. A significant circumstance arose early on when Callum eased his load on the awkward decent by dropping his (expensive and lightweight) helmet, which luckily landed on a boulder pad; however it still raised some controversy.  Myself and Ellie teamed up to climb in the fog and she led the slightly moist crack that is Green Gut, and coincidently bumped into the gentleman who had passed her a set of cams mid-route when climbing earlier on that month. Next I led the slightly polished Slab Recess Direct in wobbly style, after which I learnt people had been talking to me, and due to my silence assumed I was struggling. However in my calm and collected state I hadn’t registered their words. During this time Jim and Jack enjoyed Joe’s Direct Start, and completed the boulder problem by soloing to the top of the crag.  Later on that day Jack did Browns Eliminate and Chequers crack and Jim unfortunately failed after repeated attempts at Strapiombante, despite this Jim terrified everyone (with Ellie not watching) by climbing the unprotected E3 great slab to make up for his failures.

After lunch I took Ellie’s turn to lead, and despite my protests decided to get on Hawk’s Nest Crack with the thought that if Emily can do it, then so can I! Oh how wrong I was, I blew the moves three times without even making it to the chock stone, much to the amusement of Marie, and the dismay of Ellie who I fell directly onto. It turned out that Josh and Steven did not have the testes for the route either, Emily on the other hand…… Much like Jim, Josh made up for his failures by climbing his first HVS, Tody’s Wall, after Ellie. During this period Emily and Amy had partnered to be team fun and headed off to find some obscure routes, and decided on (for reasons unbeknownst to me) Cave Crawl, which lead through the centre of the crag. After strapping on their head torches, Emily quickly slipped off the greasy, soily starting holds onto her first piece of gear. I figuratively sighed with relief, as I didn't fancy having to explain to Ian Thursfield in the SU how I’d lost someone into the depths of Froggatt; I don’t think it’s in the risk assessment. We finished off the evening with the obligatory visit to Chatsworth chippy.

  

Peak Again 24/10/14 -26/10/14

After being ushered out of the house by an impatient Jim and Jack we rapidly stuffed all the gear into James’ gear wagon and set them on their way. After giving motorway directions Jack managed to fall asleep instantaneously, basically mid-conversation. We turned up at the awesome Carlswark hut in Stoney Middleton and introduced the newbies, Lotte, Jamie, Kenny and Jane to the pleasures of guidebook ogling. Bright and early that morning we braced ourselves for the lengthy trek up to the peaceful Bamford Edge. On arrival myself, Sam NE and Jamie in his P.E. shoes resigned ourselves to climbing the pleasantly esoteric and heavily vegetated Vdiff, Bramble Crack, as Charlie and Ellie had already baggsied the closest Severe’s on Neb Buttress. After seconding Sam we congregated to watch James McDonald’s stylish ascent of Neb Buttress, which involved him booting out his only runner and then almost diving for the next jug to protect the route. After this stellar performance I gave the one move wonder, Bamford Rib a crack, and after some hesitation I pulled onto flake and pulled over the top. Katie worked her way up Bamford wall, getting her trad head back on.

Kenny experiencing the joys of seconding Ellie

Sam topping out his own direct finish to Gargoyle Flake

During this period Charlie went over to lead Recess Groove, whilst Josh led the classic Browns Crack. I decided I wanted to climb Gargoyle Flake again and as such gave Sam no choice but to lead it. However Ellie was already getting on it, so we wandered off to enjoy the more amenable (than Hawks Ness Crack) jamming on Browns Crack, which Jamie unfortunately had to sit out due to me breaking him on the HVS. As rolled up to the Lower Tier of Great Tor Steve was just topping out of Bilberry Crack, which Jack describes as a blink and you will miss it ascent. Jack also took great delight in describing Jane’s cracking effort seconding this route, and in particular, what he described as her ‘try-hard’ noises. After this Jim led Nemmes Pas Harry, to the dismay of Jack failed to flash the route, and instead fell multiple times on previous outings.

On returning to the hut we all ogled the second and third pairs of Pinks in the club, as both James and Jamie have splashed out on the legendary shoes. It turns out James McDonald is a hard sender by day and a domestic goddess by night, as he cooked us up a beautiful risotto! Whilst nursing a food baby and fighting off urges to sleep we all sat in the dim light of the fire and the club raconteur Callum told a story of the centre of a woman’s universe, much to the delight (horror) of our newbies.

We woke up bright and early when Jack’s phone courteously informed what horrific hour we were waking up at, and then stood around trying to deal with both Jim’s (and our own confusion) as to what time it actually was. Operation clean up happened efficiently and we were out by early o’clock (no idea what time it was due to confusion with day light saving hours). Myself, Callum and Kenny teamed up to continued one of the best climbing weekends I’ve had by beginning on Manchester Buttress. I can inform you this route is far more pleasurable in the dry (bailed/wussed out on previous attempt). Before I marched my belay bitch and Kenny off in the direction of Plantation to climb Mississippi Buttress Direct, we minced around enjoying the camaraderie of giving Steve moral support on his brave attempt of Robin Hood Cave Innominate/Harding's Finish, which included a tense moment where he could have knocked his gear out; another day mate.

Steve attempting the stiff moves of Robin Hoods Cave Innominate

Every second of pulling round bulges on both good holds and good gear was excellent, and it certainly satisfied the nagging desire I’ve had to climb Mississippi Buttress Direct. Kenny, not yet trusting my competency, politely informed me that he was about to slip off when he neared the top, however after a quick fall he worked out the move and sailed to the top. Next I marched them back over to where we started, quickly annoying Katie en route. By this point Kenny was looking shattered and sat at the bottom of the crag, contempt in the warmth my down jacket, whilst I attempted Lancashire Wall. Callum inflated the difficulty of the top out move in front of a few onlookers by loudly slapping the top slopes in true grit style.

Skipper stoked on topping out Lancashire Wall

 Katie, Charlie and Jane went on a girl power assault and Katie, who may well be one of the star climbers of the weekend, boshed out Bishop’s Route, her third severe of the weekend. At the base of which I started pestering the trio about the whereabouts of the bail-bag, until Katie effectively told me to get lost and stop putting her off. During their assault Charlie led the Yuletide classic that is Christmas Crack and Jane maintained her status as a hard-trying first time outdoor climbers and gave everything her all.

Carrot Face

 In afternoon Jim did Wuthering, after protecting the route via a slinging a chock stone he down climbed a few meters. The next moves involved a precarious step onto a hold-less face and then traversing away from the gear some way with high pendulum factor. Whereas Jack sailed up Robin Hood Cave Innominate/Harding's Finish seconded by Frost, who demonstrated his wood wad power. Ellie and the ever enthusiastic Marie paired off to climb Cold Turkey, a nerve wracking HVS on spaced gear and Marie channelled said enthusiasm towards sending her first trad lead, on what I have been informed was the high quality Vdiff Bee. James McDonald climbed with Sam NE and Jamie (still too broken to get some proper use out of his pinks), and enjoyed the clear day at Stanage by taking a step back from his recent hard sending, to climb the classic Flying Buttress, before initiating team mince patrol whilst we all gathered to watch/put off Steve.

Josh and Steven who climbed with Lotte, who continued their recent fight with the ambiguous grade that is HVS, and unfortunately got shutdown on Eliminator and Robin Hood Cave Innominate/Harding's Finish (respectively). You may have lost the battle lads, but you haven’t lost the war. To raise their spirits they wandered off “to have some fun” as a dejected looking Steve told me, and on my recommendation did Mississippi Buttress Direct.

To cap the day off in the dwindling hours of sunlight Frost and Jim avoided being blown off by the wind whilst soloing Hargreaves Original Route before Jack attempted to pull his lanky frame over the roof on Flying Buttress Direct. However his attempt was unsuccessful and Jim had to lead through his gear, which resulted in an awesome ending to the day, sitting at the top of Flying Buttress with ex-skipper, whilst Callum avoids retina re-detachment on Flying Buttress Direct, and Kenny loses the last of the skin on his knuckles on the beautiful HVD that is Flying Buttress.

After sitting contently with the biggest ‘mini’ portion of cod and chips in the legendary Chatsworth Chippy we yet again waited for Callum to take a dump in the pub. However it emerged that Callum was not entirely at fault, as he had to wait patiently outside the cubicle for two gentlemen to finish their business. The journey entailed some escalating ‘#motorwaybanter’ between CJ and the gear car. Unfortunately this blog post lacks the same photographic narrative as the Sportland post, though this is only a testament to the hard sending that ULMC is doing at the moment.