After the minor glitch of figuring out how to start the engine and a stalling start down the uni driveway, we were borne away, Roaches bound, by Katie’s exemplary, wonderfully smooth driving on this her first time driving the mini-bus. She was only very slightly stressed! We made good time and arrived there with plenty of evening left for some night-time ascents of the nearby boulders. After ascertaining that sadly, it really wasn’t going to be possibe to send the indoor problem due to the inconvenientley placed heater, James Squire led the charge and headed out to settle some unfinished business with ‘The Gutter’ V7. Headtorches angled, we all watched as he sent it on his first proper attempt after a quick clean and a sort out of the top section.
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| Night-time ascent of 'The Gutter' V7. |
He then turned his attentions to ‘Undercut dyno’ V6, while the rest of us
settled for somewhat lower aspirations and proceeded to tick the area at the very excellent grade of approximatley VO-. To be fair, there are some brilliant problems
at this grade at the Roaches and we had a lot of fun!
Remy was particularly prolific, managing a total of 18 problems before the night was out. With his taste for the unconventional in climbing habits, he was of course, loving it, wanting to stay out until ‘at least 3am’! Connor, deciding his finger was OK showed us all up in his socked ascents.
The most notable ascent was Jack Armstrong ticking ‘Three Pocket Slab’ to the strains of ‘Eye of the Tiger’ after having consumed no small amount of ‘dutty tramp cider’. Clearly it’s all a headgame! Josh could confirm; as he loudly extolled the virtues of the ‘sustenance’ that alcohol provided for him.
Remy was particularly prolific, managing a total of 18 problems before the night was out. With his taste for the unconventional in climbing habits, he was of course, loving it, wanting to stay out until ‘at least 3am’! Connor, deciding his finger was OK showed us all up in his socked ascents.
The most notable ascent was Jack Armstrong ticking ‘Three Pocket Slab’ to the strains of ‘Eye of the Tiger’ after having consumed no small amount of ‘dutty tramp cider’. Clearly it’s all a headgame! Josh could confirm; as he loudly extolled the virtues of the ‘sustenance’ that alcohol provided for him.
Eventually after a very enjoyable evening and night, Remy, Toby Josh and I found ourselves the only
ones left outside and went back inside to find everyone else sensibly tucked up
in bed…
Saturday dawned clear and rain-less. Oh cruel deception; by
9.00 the rain had set in and was there to stay. Remy however was not to be
daunted and was topping-out his first route on as yet dry rock before most of
us were even done breakfasting... He then dragged a willing (I think) Ben off to
do his first lead. Prow Crack VD. In the rain. Good effort Ben!
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| Remy waiting for Ben to set up belay - really quite wet now. |
I sent an enthusiastic Sam up
Sifta’s Quid for some ‘fun’. Much swearing, unhappiness, and falling off
occurred. ‘Fucking vile!’ was the verdict as Sam escaped up the VD, to nurse
both his pride and various sensitive parts that had taken a battering as he
fell out of the gross, slippy, wet crack at the top. He had refused to squirm
through the rock as the guidebook indicated. Tom Beedle nearby, was nearing Sam
unhappiness levels, standing learning to belay, in the steadily increasing rain. He had distinctly ‘had enough’ after one climb. Moan factor was high enough to
make James M proud.
We all retreated back to the warm, to formulate a new plan.
Scrabble and reading climbing magazines. We’re an adventurous bunch!
Eventually
we remembered we like climbing, so Callum took most of them off to climb at
Awesome Walls.
Callum’s account of Awesome Walls:
So we knew the weather wasn’t going to let up but we also
knew we wanted to climb, so off we headed to Awesome walls in Stoke - where
everything is awesome, all of the time. For the likes of James Trevitt and Tom
Beedle this was their first time bouldering indoors and soon got stuck in. Jack
‘Stretch’ Armstrong and mines game of ‘Add 2’ was an epic one, one that we can
probably call a draw and whom I was honoured to dual with. Katie was on a
mission to tick the whole V1-2 (I think) circuit, drawing quite the crowd from
the club especially on the more awkward ones – let it be noted that she
suffered from an awful case of ‘disco leg’, or ‘doing an Elvis’ on more than
one occasion. Next came the upstairs wad cave where many a spectacle was
witnessed and biceps were polished. Of note was Sophie’s efforts on a balancy
problem she’d got pretty close to each time and before having to leave sent it
in true style. James Trivett meanwhile quietly sent the entire V0, V1 and V2
circuit on his first ever indoor climbing day. After a cute little warm down
session (I was going to be the one responsible for destroying everyone at an
indoor bouldering session only to have fantastic weather forecasted the next
day) we headed back home, very much ready for some food and the drinking games
that were to follow.
Meanwhile, I remembered I like walking and rain; so Josh, Sam and I packed up a bag and set off to explore Hen Cloud and Ramshaw Rocks. Hen Cloud was suitably intimidating and we looked at all the cracks we didn't want to climb. Then we got the map out to see how best to get to Ramshaw. Or tried to. As we had left the house Josh had sensibely asked ‘have we got the map?' ‘yes’ ‘yes we’ve got the map’ Sam and I both replied. Turns out no, we didn't actaully have the map at all. Ah well, adventure time! Bush-wacking and potential mild trespassing followed before we were invited to walk though the garden of the posh-looking Roaches Manor. We were also invited in for tea and cake...I’m not sure why we didn’t take this offer up? Anyway, we took the most circuitous route possible, through woodland, though cow fields, and past a string of 34 dead moles hung up on a fence...! Eventually we found ourselves drinking thermos coffee under Ramshaw's overhangs, and looking out a the softly falling drizzle. After ogling the gnarly hard routes to be found there, we exited a gross wet gully…(why josh!) and at Josh’s strong request headed back via ‘sensible paths with no more bushwacking!’ Funnily enough it didn't take nearly as long.
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| Team photo. Best soggy walk ever! |
The rabble soon returned and the day turned into night which in turn rapidly descended into drinking, games and more events and that are best kept within the walls of the hut. Or outside them, as one naked hut-runner can attest to.
Sam and Toby became rather more intimately acquainted, Tom Beedle fell victim to Toby’s Jager, and we all learned a little more about each other.
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| Does this need words..? |
1.00am came round, the second time, and found, Josh, Remy,
Toby and Connor singing uproariously and polishing off the quite significant
remainder of the Jager. Josh, after the Jager, kindly thought he’d do Callum a
favour and save him carrying the weight of a half a crate of beer home.
Josh then woke up far too jolly to not still be drunk. Josh then bailed off routes
all day. Josh was then very sad because he felt too sick to eat his lunch. Josh was only just in a fit state to start consuming solids again by
the KFC stop that night. The story of Josh.
But we mustn't be forgetting the story of Remy. Feeling he hadn’t got enough
climbing in after Awesome Walls, he took Toby off into the gathering twilight
with and rope and rack to climb the only bit of dry rock going: Raven Rock
Gully Right-Hand VS 4b. (Why wasn’t ‘gully’ enough to put him off?)
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| It actually look's kind-of nice here.. |
It was glorious…that is if you like damp, slimy esoteric
chimneys that spit you out re-birthed after an ordeal of grime. So for Remy it
was glorious. Clearly.
Toby’s enjoyment levels were slightly more questionable, but
brave is the man who takes up Remy’s belay request!
The morning dawned misty but rain-free and stayed as such. So and we all arose, some more worse for the wear than others, but got
everything cleaned up and were out climbing by 9am.
First to Sam and Anthony’s Esoterica Day - I mean ‘Team Marianne’s
Sufferfest’. This kicked off with a sopping wet jug on Left Hand
Route HS 4b, soon followed by the green expanse of Kelly’s
Shelf S 4b with no cams (!), and then by Anthony’s bold S 4a lead of ‘Reset
Portion of Galley 37’. Bold I’m told it was; bold, wet and green with the odd
thread round a loose block.
Finally Sam, vowing revenge on Sifta’s Quid, roped
up to do battle. It was indeed a battle, a most memorable one; for both the
observers and the observed.
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| In the thoes of battle. |
Sam got all inside the rock and after much
thrutching and groaning, most of it on the spot, emerged more than slightly battered and
scarred - both emotionally and physically!
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| Post-Sifta's Quid- the suffering is real. |
Remy, after a very productive morning ticking, decided to
get on Valkyrie with Connor. Off they went. And there they stayed. For not one,
or two…but three hours. After making 2 pitches out the first 15m pitch, Remy
who had managed his ropes excellently up the this point, decided that jamming
up a gross-looking crack in the middle of the lovely airy traverse would be
preferable. This resulted in some air-time that saw him just grasping the lip
of the overhang below. Fast forward about and hour and Connor was just
starting. Fast forward another hour and we find Connor with the ropes totally
stuck in Remy’s god-awful crack, frozen on the face, unable to go up or down.
The details of this epic are probably best left to fade into the mists of time to become the stuff nostalgic reminiscence, but eventually they made it to the top to wait sheepishly in order to
apologise profusely to the poor unfortunate pair that had started up behind
them all those long hours ago…
Remy’s verdict was the controversial slating of the Don,
which ran along the lines of: ‘Whillans
must have been drunk when he put up that three star nothing bag of shit!’
To add to the list of questionable male climbing instance that
day, Toby was pretty gutted to lose a hex irretrievably on the first climb of
the day!
Over to Katie and Sophie. They partook of no such antics,
instead they had the novel idea of picking a dry route, reading the description
properly, climbing it with the appropriate use of gear and ropes, seconding it
and getting all the gear out, and moving on to the next one. And the result
was a success! They both executed the prescribed ‘beached wale’ flop onto
Kelly’s Shelf, S4b beautifully.
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| Sophie on Kelly's Shelf, S 4b |
After a few more leads by Katie including the by now notorious Sifta's Quid, Sophie got
on her first lead ever, Prow Crack, VD. This went down beautifully with no issues at all, despite
the groans of despair echoing from the rock in Sam’s direction.
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| Top-out psyche! |
Ben too, seemingly not put-off forever by his first wet lead, dispatched two more in quick succession and good style. Prow Corner VD and Captain Lethargy HVD with Tom Liddell. The one lowlight of his day was his top-rope whipper, courtesy of Remy where he very nearly decked out..!
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| Ben looking cool and collected on his first (dry) lead. Pro Corner VD |
Back to Toby and Tom Beedle, where after losing the hex,
Toby had a very good epic-less day, leading the lovely Black Velvet HVD, Prow Corner VD
and Captain Lethargy HVD. Sadly there are no photo's of him though! Tom Beedle who had never climbed before, had gotten over his misery of the previous day in the rain, and was
by now a very able lead belayer and second.
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| James Trivett and Sophie |
Callum and James Trivett also had a good day ticking,
James Trivett managing to second everything without resting on the rope once. Callum also had to solo Sifta’s Quid to rescue Katie from
rope drag and give her a mid-route hug, and so ended up soloing the whole route
which was ‘actually great fun.’ I am then told he had to sort out various rope drama’s involving Toby soloing up to get his lost
hex and then needing rescuing, another bad case of rope drag from Katie! (Ok maybe her day wasn't so perfect after all!)
Meanwhile, we unfortunately had a mounting list of injured
climbers, James Squire had a badly bruised toe from his attempts on undercut
dyno, and couldn’t put shoes on to climb all weekend. He has promised to come
back and crush next meet though! Jack Armstrong’s arm was not too strong (sorry) after
he pulled a bicep bouldering and Adam too hurt hand bouldering and spent the
rest of the day taking photos. Hmmm there seems to be a pattern, and I can’t
help but identify the common factor here… Get on the ropes guys!
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| A particularly lovely photo of Adam's. |
Climbing with myself was Tom Beedle. New to climbing outdoors, after learning how to lead belay in the rain on Saturday, Tom proved to be an excellent belayer as I took him round a selection of Roches climbs. He took everything calmly in his stride, from slabs to cracks and even overhangs. Probably ready for a lead soon should he feel so inclined! West Wallaby VS 4c’s pumpy overhanging traverse, however, saw him swinging into space unable to gain any purchase on the rock , so we bailed for some lunch while another party keen to get going rather than wait for me to abseil, took my gear out.
During lunch I voiced a desire to try Commander Energy E2 5c
as it looked a little less intimidating than I’d expected, much to Callum’s
vocal enthusiasm. After getting ‘all of the beta’ from Callum I racked up
feeling steadily less psyched and more sick… why was I getting on a grit E2!
This was something I had time to ask myself a few more times as I went up to and then
backed off the crux about 6, maybe more, times! I just had no idea what the move was
meant to be, all I knew was that Callum’s beta wasn’t going to work for me,
being considerably shorter! I came very close to bailing, and even started developing rock-envy of Sam who had all the rock surrounding him in Sifta’s
Quid and didn't have to deal with an expanse of holdless grit! Eventually something clicked and an incredibly tenuous rockover move
gained the break. The rest was awesome, particularly the lovely airy arete at the top!
Callum may or may not
describe it otherwise below, but after his epic belay, it seems only fair to grant him an account of it from his perspective:
Callum on Ellie's ascent of Commander Energy (E2, 5c)
The only way I can describe Ellie’s ascent was that of a
broken lift, up and down and up and down and up and down…and after the 5th
or 6th time I think she remembered how to climb. What many do
in dynamic style Ellie thought she’d do the big sidepull/reachy move statically
– treating it like a friction slab. It was fucking grim to watch, I was gripped
even though I was the one still on the ground. But she did it with (she may
disagree) reasonable amounts of grace – unlike the next section. Some great
grunts could be made out from Ellie as she pulled herself over onto the thin
flake and elegant is not the word I’d use. Once established on said flake I
hear a ‘I thought you said it was all over here Callum!!!’ as she approached
the final blank arête/slab. …Erm yeh sorry about that… Anyway, after a few
moments of figuring out the final smears of the route an ecstatic Ellie topped
out victorious! Her first grit E2! Get in!!
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| Callum being equally 'elegant' |
If emotions were visible that short stretch of crag would
have been a rainbow, from Toby leading in the corner, past Sophie going though
all the emotions of a first lead, my tortuous agonising over the hard move, to
Sam turning the air blue in no quiet fashion inside the rock at the far end.
After his epic belay session, we
went
up for Callum to ‘look at’ The Sloth HVS 5a. However wasn't feeling the
psyche that day, so we went
bouldering instead, with Jack and James. Callum did the classic Joe’s
Arête V3 second attempt which was cool, although much to my disgust at
the time as I no-one to work it with then! We then both flashed the
easiest 6a matle problem ever (not 6a!) and played about on the boulders
until the dark began to descend. On a last-ditch attempt of Joe's Arete
I somehow latched the top much to my pure astonishment!
As the sun set bathing the woodland and crag in an amazing orange glow, we all packed up and traipseddown to the van to wait for Toby and Tom Beedle, who had decided to finish the trip as we'd begun it: climbing at night!
All in all, despite the rain, it was a great trip, of much variety, night-time bouldering, wet walks, indoor climbing, wet climbs, dry climbs, green climbs; and when we weren’t climbing much
fun was had in the hut, both scrabble and drinking games! More first leads happened, esoterica was climbed, and fun was had by all accounts. I for one, can’t wait until next time!
Pictures courtesy of Adam, Jack and Sam. Thank you :)
































