Peak Camping 21st-23rd March 2014

ADVANCE WARNING- TERRIBLE LANGUAGE, INCLUDING THE C WORD

The final meet of the year went ahead as planned despite a pretty apocalyptic weather forecast and Peate and James T grumbling throughout the week about the likelihood of getting rained on. Nevertheless Friday evening rolled round with James M still in the drivers seat to his displeasure and Jack following behind in his car. A flying Sainsburys stop where I was the victim of a Harry Holkham inspired, Margaret Thatcher based sting operation followed, before we got on the road to the Peak, stopping only for James M to pick up supplies in the form of fish and chips. We set the tents up in cold but pretty dry conditions, but for reasons known only to me right at the top of the campsite on the slopyest ground possible. For gods sake don’t let Peate make the same mistake next year people- go on the flat! We all went to bed as the first bits of rain rolled in and endured a pretty uncomfortable nights sleep, which Amy helpfully leaving the tent door open so I slept for several hours basically outside- thanks!

We woke up to a miraculously dry morning after pretty heavy rain throughout the night. After a discussion over breakfast where we decided we weren’t psyched for cold and windy grit, we decided to head over to Horseshoe Quarry for a bit of bolt clipping. Brad and Doug had bailed on us, a decision looking increasingly poor as the sun came out on the drive to the quarry. We parked up just as a mysterious man emerged from the quarry. Jack politely asked him what the conditions were like and was given an aggressive reply to the tune of ‘shit- its snowing in Buxton and will be here in half an hour- you don’t want to go in there.’ After Jack expressed surprise at this forecast given it was very different to the one at the campsite (“Oh really?”), mystery man replied with ‘no I’m making it up.’ At this point both me and Jack had decided the guy was what can only be described as a cunt and decided not to talk to him anymore. However, as the gear was being unpacked from the van the bloke said to Ellie ‘the good thing about crags like this is it keeps you lot off the good crags,’ thereby perpetuating two highly tiresome stereotypes- a) that Horseshoe is shit when in fact it has some really good routes and b) that all student groups are incompetent toproping hordes when in fact we haven’t top roped a route on the grit all year. (Ergo- fuck off). Fortunately I had not heard this exchange but when I was told about it quickly downgraded my opinion of the bloke to supercunt. To add insult to injury the man then reversed perfectly, getting within a few inches of Jack’s car before stopping, before deciding to continue, whacking Jacks car and leaving the quarry without apologising. 

Bethan on Big Fat Texan 6a

Activity on the Main Wall

Katie on Big Fat Texan 6a

Almost speechless with disbelief about the rudeness of the guy we headed into the quarry and got going. Jack and I started working Private Prosecution 6c on the main wall, while Ellie and Emily attempted the tough 5+ Sag Ponir. Over the way, Bethan bailed off her route (disgustingly loose) while Charlie quested up a esoteric and vegetated corner- why are you lot choosing the worst and loosest lines!? From my vantage point Callum had been on his route without moving for about half an hour so I went over and asked (impolitely I admit) what was going on. The initial blame was laid by me on Callum for reading the guidebook wrong, however I must admit that the guidebooks disagreed on the grades of the routes and I was entirely wrong- sorry Callum! After Peate led the 6a Big Fat Texan on the Corner and Katie and Bethan toproped it, I gave the 6c a redpoint burn and latched the final holds after nearly blowing it right at the top. Jack went next and cruised up to 2/3’s height, before stuffing the sequence and coming off as the rain started to fall. This swiftly turned into hail so he rapidly stripped the route and we escaped the quarry in dreadful conditions- the grumpy old bastard was right unfortunately! Still, we tried to get some climbing in and headed to Outside café in Hathersage, where James performed miracles parking the bus and numerous people bought gear and stole Cobra Crack posters. Katie’s mum and dog Jessie also turned up and the decision was made to go for a walk round Burbage South. After ogling Parthian Shot (E10), Dynamics of Change (E9/10) and Braille Trail E8 for ages and confusing Katie’s mum with loads of climbing lingo, we carried on walking round Carl’s Walk, over Higgar Tor and back to the bus, with a bit of bouldering and bridge campusing thrown in. After a quick campsite stop we hit the mercifully warm and dry pub, where excessive googling revealed that the mystery Horseshoe cunt may well have been the infamous Gary Gibson. We have no proof of this other than the fact that the bloke owned the same drill as GG and looked a bit like his photos…suspicious! After a very necessary meal in which Callum made the waitress feel awkward and Ellie dropped the c-bomb in front of Katie’s mum, we headed back to the campsite for another low quality sleep.

Private Prosecution 6c

Jack 'testing the holds' around Parthian Shot- E10 6c!

Harry- master of dog!

Again I woke up to dry conditions and we decided to head to Bamford until the expected rain arrived at midday-ish. We packed up the campsite pretty quickly and headed off up the horribly steep walk in, with Jack leading the way as he had been there before. Having arrived at the crag, I set off up Gargoyle Flake VS with Bethan, while Jack led the VS Quien Sabe with Callum, Jack Peate led Sandy Crack HS with Katie, James T made his first attempt on Bilberry Crack VS 5a, and Charlie gurned her way up the classic HS Brown’s Crack. I arrived at the base of the crag as Charlie was topping out and seconded her so Ellie could get on Quien Sabe. However, halfway up the route and faced with the committing layback the heavens opened and large amounts of hail started to fall. A bailout seemed imminent and we hurriedly looked for a top rope setup, but blue skies appeared in the distance so Ellie hung around on the half height ledge. The sun returned and Ellie fell off the layback, before lowering off and doing it second go- great effort! James also fell off his VS a second time before pulling the ropes and getting it- ground up ethic is alive and well! With the weather suddenly great and looking clear climbing could continue, with Katie leading Recess Crack VD while me, James, Charlie, Callum, Jack and Ellie headed over to Wrinkled Wall. I dispatched The Crease E1 (soft but necky) while Ellie racked up for the HVS Old and Wrinkled. She placed a bomber red offset before repeatedly trying and failing to place a better, higher one, before somehow losing concentration and balance and falling off. The high bit of gear immediately ripped resulting in a pretty spectacular, if really scary whipper. I rapidly descended the crag with thoughts of a major clusterfuck running through my mind to see Ellie no worse for wear at the bottom of the crag, despite almost giving Jack heart failure. Given that she clonked her head reasonably hard on a rock at the bottom the moral has to be always wear a helmet when pushing your grade!

The audience for James' attempt on The Crease, E1 5a

James on The Crease

Me nervously topping out Old and Wrinkled, HVS (apparently

Ellie fiddling some kit in on Bamford Wall, Severe 4a

I then got on the HVS and found it desperate and harder and scarier than the E1, before Ellie led the VS Wrinkled Wall. Over the way, Peate led Gargoyle Flake before I set off up the E3 Down to Earth. Despite gurning very hard, my final desperate dyno for the top just missed and I took a large swinging whipper. A second go was no better, resulting in my arm getting crushed against the rock- it was that or my teeth- at which point I bailed. The weather was getting better and better and James T had a belt at The Crease, before wussing out and escaping to the arête, before I headed off to do Neb Buttress HVS with Ellie. This was mega, with a juggy traverse, a pushy layback and an exposed finish giving a sweet route. Ellie seconded with a rest or two before I rapidly got on a few more HVS’, and Steve, Callum and Ellie did Bamford Wall and Bamford Buttress, both Severe, in various combinations, and Katie and Bethan led Leaning Slab VD. The day ended in bright sunshine- we packed up and headed down to the bus unable to believe our good luck. After a shit stop at the campsite and a fish and chip stop in Chesterfield we were done for the term- cracking weekend and good luck with the weather! See you all for Portland :)

I don't even know whats going on here...

Obligatory megajug pose!